Inconceivably foreign. Soon all the GISTers will drop our bags back home, look around our oddly familiar homes, and continue that mystery we like to call Real Life. Shortly after, we will become a different person because our situation mandates it so.
Today is exactly nine months since my last birthday, which celebrated the life I knew then, back home. To think back of that moment means to momentarily pretend that I am still that person, not the person I am now, which is disorienting. At the time, I had no real idea of what Hawaii / US would be like, or life at the East-West Center, or even what I was to do there. I've had difficulty explaining what a Fellowship is. There's the part of becoming a "fellow", a part of a larger bond (in this case, the APLP ohana). Then there's the part of being a fellow in a journey, across many regions, but also across many different versions of ourselves. During GIST, it felt like everything is about travel, because it's basically a travel project. But it's also Part Two of the APLP journey. Today is not just the end of GIST, it's also the end of APLP. For those us who did GIST, we didn't feel like our APLP Fellowship ended when we leave Hawaii in December. That moment of ending has only come now.
The experience of GIST has been recorded through this blog, more than 500 photos, a 43-page Report (with a 12-page Appendix), and an in-progress manuscript of Personal Essays. You might say I have overcaptured this experience. I for one definitely might say that. Never have I produced so much content. I may never have the time and space to do so again, unless writing becomes a professional activity, which is becoming more and more tempting.
Isn't this what everybody else is going through, too?
My generation seem to be defined by our Autonomy and Purpose. We are the traveling nomads, we take gap years and search for new worlds, new stimulation, new experience. We insist that it's important and necessary for self-development, widening the horizon, et cetera. I think it's wonderful to be so articulate about our search for meaning. We may not know for sure how our newly developed selves is prepared to face life after travel, but we believe it will be. Somehow. And if that is the case, imagine the joy we can present by giving others a similar opportunity to flourish.
When I come home tonight, friends and family will no doubt produce various commentaries about the state of my being ("So tanned! Long hair! Gained weight! Lost weight!") They will do so because they expect me to be different. It may not be entirely clear what it is I've been doing for the last nine months, but no matter. I did *something* for a period of time, so there must be an effect. The price of Opportunity is Change. And if we all know this, how would that shape the way we support others to take chances? What would the world look like if everyone has the chance to develop, in the ways they feel are relevant, even if we may not know what changes they may lead to? Change is supposed to be scary, but it seems we're always looking for ways to grow. And that's extremely encouraging, to realize deep down we are always looking for change. It makes the changes of the world seem less disorienting
The gap between then and now is relative, despite what the clocks and calendars say. Some of us know how to milk every moment as they come, others want a more tangible progression than time. We're free to define how we change. The person I am now imagines a space where everyone feels safe to absorb change, and determine where they wish to go, physically or mentally. GIST was an adventure of hopping between foreign places, then again life is an adventure of hopping between past and future, both of which are as foreign to me as, say, Bandar Seri Begawan. All I can hope for is that the experience manifests.
If you have been following along this journey, I thank you, and if you intend to still follow along, or create your own journey, do drop me a line. And safe travels.