Growing up in an environment where you are continuously discriminated and regarded as low class citizens simply because you belong to the indigenous tribe, you just find yourself striving harder to be accepted. I often ask myself, what's wrong with us, what have we done to them and why are we widely discriminated in the land of our forefathers who welcomed their ancestors with open arms and warm hospitaliy. Why of all the countless expressions in the world, why they love to use "Ay B'laan" and "Murag B'laan." Since we find these expressions very discrimintating and humiliating, most of the time we just found ourselves having a direct and unhealthy confrontation with the person or group saying it. To avoid direct and unhealthy confrontation, most of the members of the Blaan tribe (not B'laan) primarily the younger generation would not introduce themselves as members of the tribe.
When I started to work in the Provincial Government of Sarangani under the leadership of Former Governor Migs Dominguez, I tend to understand deeply the issues confronting the indigenous peoples and the complexities of solutions to address it. Fueled by my genuine desire to be of help to my community, I dedicated my heart and mind to the efforts geared towards indigenous development.
Working in the government was overwhelming and standing its bureaucracy was intimidating. The challenges were terribly daunting while the lack of support and crab mentality from your fellow government workers made the government extremely exhausting. Maybe, if we didn't have noble, young, intelligent, dynamic and inspiring team leader and governor, I could have not withstand the challenges of government bureaucracy .
When I was given the task to serve as the Program Officer of the education reform program locally known as Quality Education for Sarangani Today (QUEST), I was challenged by three provoking statements:
1. Who is she to handle that program? She is just a B'laan! (From a capitol employee)
2. It's very hard to teach the kids in the upland communities. Though you show letter A straight to their faces they could hardly recognize it. (From an upland teacher)
3. Why build schools in the upland communities? They are just cost to the government because they will marry early. (From DepEd head)
The statements were like swords that were directly stabbed to my heart and caused teardrops to my eyes. On the other hand, the same statements gave me courage, energy and passion.
At start, I was so consumed of proving myself as a Blaan in a wish that I will be dearly approved and not be discriminated. I religiously work on my tasks giving my best shot so I can prove that Blaans are equal with Christians and Moros or we can be even better than others once we are given the right opportunity. Nevertheless, despite all the good deeds and sacrifices we have done, some people simply love to belittle and intimidate us simply because we belong to the regarded low class citizens. I was so consumed that I was drained. One very humiliating presentation experience made me faced the wall and sobbed hardly. With shaking knees and hands, I texted my boss, Gov Migs that I am resigning. I poured out my emotions telling him I'm drained in outshining all the problems in the office. His reply got me off from my knees, "It is the same challenge I am experiencing everyday. We are working with people who used the old ways. At the end of the day, we will not win this province if we will not be able to engage them to rally with us. I am very proud of what you are doing."
My boss' trust and confidence on me has been the foundation of my leadership. From that on, I became stronger and more determined in outshining the challenges that came our way. I became even more aggressive in coming-up with interventions to help rally the education revolution in the province. I was in high spirits in leading my team to think outside the box and we became more resourceful. Sometimes, I would still find myself wept over some frustrations and discouragements but I gained a different kind of enthusiasm and passion that keeps me going and fighting.
My early work experience taught me these valuable lessons:
1. Never long for others' approval, you'll be burnt out.
2. As members of the indigenous group, we don't need to prove ourselves to be equal or better than Christian and Moro groups because we can be best on our own.
3. There' s so much joy and fulfillment at work when you don't seek for recognition. The results of your work will prove the quality of your hard work.
I happily resigned from government service last June 15, 2013. Although, I only received a meager income in government, I have no regrets because no monetary return can measure the deep sense of joy, satisfaction and fulfillment I gained. Moreover, the significant results of our collective actions will always be a lifetime source of inspiration. Above everything else, I find my life's purpose which is to expose my fellow indigenous peoples to a wider world by bringing quality education to their villages while strengthening our cultural identity.
Where am I now in my personal quest? The Asia Pacific Leadership Program in East West Center, Hawai'i helped me build a clearer plan and direction on how to advance my quest for my community. It helped me reflect on my leadership and improve it. Currently, through the scholarship travel grant of East West Center referred as GIST (Group Independent Study Travel), I am traveling into the green and cultural schools in Southeast Asia and learn from their best practices and challenges. The insights I will gain from my immersion in the schools will provide me a head-start in my plan to establish the Philippine Blaan School in Sarangani Province in 2016. The school will be one of the major projects of the Philippine Blaan Foundation, a non-profit sector I am planning to establish within the year. I recognize that achieving this quest is hard but I have faith that I'll achieve it with the help of our God and the network He has built and He continues to establish for me.
I am now in the airport and I am excited to fly home. I got a $1,000 cash prize from the Nainoa Thomson Community Leadership Award conferred by the East West Center and I will happily use the money to open a bank account for the Philippine Blaan Foundation. Yes, it's just a small amount but it's very inspiring for it tells me, "GO! You're on the right track. Continue to pursue your quest."
I am so grateful for all the opportunities God has given me. I am in owe of FDTEI (full college scholarship), employment in Sarangani Province, amazing network, international scholarship programs and unexpected travel opportunities. These blessings were totally beyond what I prayed. I remembered the wisdom of FDTEI benefactor, Mrs. Virginia Andersen, "The secret to more blessings is giving back to your community." I was never wrong in following her advice. So to the young people who ask me, what's the secret for all these blessings, "Never weary of planting good seeds, you'll certainly reap abundant harvests."